How Foidslop Are You?

With JavaScript on, you get these one at a time and a score at the end.

1. It's 9 p.m. and you haven't eaten. What's dinner?

   • Cheese, crackers, four grapes and a pickle on a cutting board
   • Something delivered, eaten in bed
   • Leftovers, microwaved
   • Six eggs and a protein shake

2. Pick a drink.

   • Iced matcha, oat milk, vanilla
   • Seasonal latte, whatever season it is
   • Black coffee
   • Pre-workout

3. What's on your bedside table?

   • A 700-page book with a dagger on the cover and 80 sticky tabs
   • A candle called something like 'Sunday Morning'
   • A phone charger and a glass of water
   • A book about stoicism I haven't opened

4. You open The Sims. What happens next?

   • Six hours in build mode. No Sim ever moves in.
   • A family drama with at least one ghost
   • I don't really play The Sims
   • I remove the pool ladder. You know why.

5. It's the first cold day of fall. You:

   • Start the Gilmore Girls rewatch immediately
   • Buy something pumpkin flavored
   • Find a jacket
   • Take a cold plunge to prove a point

6. How many steps is your skincare routine?

   • Eleven, plus the jade roller
   • Four or five
   • Soap
   • The shower does it

7. What are you listening to on a walk?

   • A true crime podcast about a cold case in Ohio
   • A sad girl playlist I made for this exact walk
   • Whatever is on the radio
   • A three-hour interview with a guy about the Roman Empire

8. Someone hands you a ribbon. What do you tie it to?

   • My hair, my bag, my tumbler and possibly a croissant
   • A gift, like a normal person
   • Nothing, I hand it back
   • My Labubu

9. Your ideal Saturday:

   • Bed rotting with snacks and a show I've seen four times
   • Pilates, then a matcha, then a little treat
   • Errands and a nap
   • Leg day

10. Someone says your favorite thing is foidslop. You:

    • Say 'and?' and keep enjoying it
    • Ask them to define foidslop, then lose the argument
    • Shrug
    • Agree. I'm a broslop man myself.